i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
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Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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