I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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