...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
