woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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