i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?