Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed

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  (818): I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed http://tfl.nu/k0bk
  Replies (33) Good night (738) Bad night (3603)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (1024) Bad night (3538)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.

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  (410): I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night. http://tfl.nu/vy3a
  Replies (31) Good night (7222) Bad night (886)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me

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  (647): after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me http://tfl.nu/6bhb
  Replies (13) Good night (3739) Bad night (1292)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?

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  (262): Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon? http://tfl.nu/jffu
  Replies (9) Good night (4469) Bad night (1285)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

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  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6671) Bad night (1120)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.

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  (802): i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/lstw
  Replies (13) Good night (4546) Bad night (1353)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

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  (773): She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs http://tfl.nu/4ami
  Replies (26) Good night (6507) Bad night (1545)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.

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  (910): I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through. http://tfl.nu/z33k
  Replies (14) Good night (2085) Bad night (4637)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.

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  (732): This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together. http://tfl.nu/028o
  Replies (4) Good night (1187) Bad night (3884)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.

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  (603): You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time. http://tfl.nu/k6f1
  Replies (22) Good night (4581) Bad night (1022)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition

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  (989): tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition http://tfl.nu/yo0y
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (448)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar

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  (817): i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar http://tfl.nu/a2fz
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (308)
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  (212): View more from New York

  How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?

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  (212): How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour? http://tfl.nu/2ooq
  Replies (6) Good night (587) Bad night (378)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone

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  (603): last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/pux0
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (233)

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