I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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