last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?