Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
