no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
