Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize