oh god the rape fog is back!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
