jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also, beer. Big fan.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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