I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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