And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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