Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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