If i come over, it means nothing
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
