I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
