well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
