How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
