dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
