So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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