I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
