I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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