please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
