I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
