I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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