He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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