I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
