We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
