i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
