Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
