problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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