how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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