THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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