You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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