You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
40s are totally the cure
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
