I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
