i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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