I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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