its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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