Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
