I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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