One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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