it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
