i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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