Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
