The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
