I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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