Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
