my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The air was thick with penises
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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