Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just gargled with NyQuil
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
