I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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