ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
