just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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