you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
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You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize