Sry I called you an 8
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
