Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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