Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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