Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
