So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
