He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
